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nice guys finish last..? November 28, 2008

Posted by youppe in general, personal, quotes.
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This is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point.

This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores.

This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support.

This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.

This is for the guys who escort their drunk female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door. For the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway. For the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters.

For the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends. For all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated. For all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.

This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor.

This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that.

The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches.

Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks.

Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever.

There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single.

So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile.

For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

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* i thought i’d share this with anyone who have not yet read it.

* originally published for Wharton Undergraduate Journal, and reposted by Noktah Hitam. too excellent for me to ignore. haha 😛

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Comments»

1. azni x boleh tido - November 29, 2008

oy. what about nice girls?? what about nice girls???!!!

*tenonet tenonet*

kuso.

2. youppe - December 2, 2008

nice girls are the worst. their eyes got blinkered waiting for the ‘perfect’ men when there isn’t one, and when age and time catch up with them, they hastily make the biggest mistake of their life and married the wrong guy.

yeah, you know it’s true.

3. jaz - December 2, 2008

nice girls are the worst..hmm..truth hurts…like a sweet dream but it just beautiful nightmare..

4. aishah - December 3, 2008

i REALLY want a nice guy. who wants me back la. kan? :p

5. NIZA - December 3, 2008

“nice girls are the worst. their eyes got blinkered waiting for the ‘perfect’ men when there isn’t one, and when age and time catch up with them, they hastily make the biggest mistake of their life and married the wrong guy.”

wow. saya terasa lah ;p … huhu i think it’s true anyway.

6. beastly2 - December 4, 2008

I’m a nice guy!

7. beastly2 - December 4, 2008

Really!!!

8. youppe - December 4, 2008

jaz: haha, don’t take offence eh. it’s just what i think…

aishah: have faith. there are a lot of nice guys out there, who’ve been continuously overlooked, underestimated, unappreciated, manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned for a complete ass of a guy. ;p your time will come. but first, have faith. 😉

niza: err… jgn la terasa. itu hanya pendapat saya. anyway, ni niza yg sy kenal ke?

beastly2: errr… who are you?

9. Luqman - December 6, 2008

Nice = subjective. Plus overlooked, underestimated, unappreciated, manipulated, misled, unjustly abandoned boleh pakai untuk nice employees, nice siblings, nice friends etc. Kalau betul nice, mesti mamat ikhlas and tak complain in the first place.

The word is ‘Thankful’. Nice guys sebenarnya overrated. Sorry, ni pendapat saja. haha

10. youppe - December 6, 2008

errr… “overlooked, underestimated, unappreciated, manipulated, misled, unjustly abandoned” are adjectives (not sure, pls check) bro, can be used for ANYTHING. pets, house, tree, book, etc., etc., …… (well you know what i mean)

well, i personally think, it’s just about managing expectations. sometimes we just have the most ridiculous, unreasonable expectations of the opposite sex. the overrated/underrated thing would not exist if we can manage our expectations better. we live in the real world anyway, where people do make the biggest mistake and pay for it for the rest of their life. what’d you expect?

hoho… ‘ikhlas’ is a deep subject. i could bore you with 10 pages summary of what i’ve learned about ‘ikhlas’ (from liberal & Islamic point of view, both). ikhlas = tak complain? really??? is it that simplistic??? is it what it’s all about, fundamentally??? haha think about it. the ‘ikhlas’ concept is huge & a powerful tool in Islam (in the same line with ‘doa’), and Malay-Muslims generally mixed-up the fundamental concept of ‘ikhlas’ with their ADAT. haha interesting? do some research, man, it’ll do you good.

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” ikhlas ialah tidak melihatnya ikhlas. siapa yang menyaksikan pada keikhlasannya akan ikhlas, maka sesungguhnya keikhlasannya itu memerlukan ikhlas ” – Abu Ya’kub As-Susi

11. Luqman - December 7, 2008

mmg le boleh guna untuk pets, house, tree, book. all im saying is that these overlooked, underestimated, unappreciated, manipulated, misled, unjustly abandoned, biasanya digunakan oleh orang-orang yang expectations tinggi macam kau kata tu la. bukan la ‘nice guy’. macam mamat tu duk cakap dia buat itu ini untuk perempuan tu last2 perempuan tu buat choice yang dia x berapa agree, so keluar la post tu. similar thing can be applied utk worker yang gila rajin berusaha keras, last2 x dapat bonus ke, member dia dapat lagi lebih ke, kuar lagi term2 overlookd etc. cam atas tu. sbbtu aku masih rasa mamat yang buat artikel tu bukannya nice pun. haha. buat, tolong, pastu lupa sudah~ tapi manusia beb, mmg susah gila untuk jadi camtu. haha.

lepastu, whole artikel ni macam applies kat semua orang. sorry to say this but agreeing with those does not make you one of these ‘nice guys’. owh, mmg ramai pembaca yang akan xpuas hati dengan aku pasni. haha.

aku pergi sana sini dengar complain ‘nice guys are now extinct’. aku x rasa pun yang diorang ni wujud in the 1st place.

tapi standard la bro, aku kan jenis yang cerita2 je lebih. aku pn bila baca2 cam agree2 gak. hahahahahaha.

p/s: anyway, suka betul kau guna term biggest mistake eh? hehe.

12. NoktahHitam - December 7, 2008

Ikhlas tak complain? aduh.. dunie mane ko ni Luqman.

I think in Islam, ade mention to take what’s rightfully yours. Dalam case overlooked worker kau, the worker should stand up for his cut. If not, he’s a nice guy with no balls.

The thing about nice guys, they are usually boring. A conversation is bound to end with … and more … .

The guy who wrote this wasn’t complaining, he’s just whining. Once in a while, we can cut some slack cant we?

Besides, you wouldn’t realize they existed in the first place.

13. youppe - December 7, 2008

yerp… “ikhlas tak complain” is only according to Malay BUDAYA & ADAT. org Melayu aje yg suka2 hati kate org yg byk complain ni tak ikhlas, padahal sape yg tau hati org lain? ikhlas is only between men & God, not a single human being can claim to be able to judge it. in fact, when you’re studying ‘ikhlas’ in Islam, the best case studies of the act of ‘ikhlas’ during the Companions’ days involved persistent complaining & fighting for your right!! haha interesting, aite? of course, here in Malaysia elements of religion & adat were very much mixed-up, in many areas.

again, i think it’s just about expectations. unrealistic expectations will only shoot you down, because people make mistakes, because no one is perfect. how they learn and make up for their mistakes, that’s the part that matters, the part that differentiates the men from the boys. but if you’re too stucked up in the sky to realize that, then i’d say you’ll probably get what you deserve in the end.

loq: ‘the biggest mistake’? just to put it in context, haha.

14. Luqman - December 8, 2008

hmmm, agree and disagree with those ikhlas stuff, but we arent here to argue on ikhlas rite. haha. anyway, ill try to absorb those view and it might take awhile. hehe. thanx for the great views.

out of curiosity, anyone reading these stuff honestly think he’s one of the nice guys and brave enough to admit and stand up for it?

anyway lagi sekali, ye ke just to put it in context yop? curious betol aku. hahaha.

15. youppe - December 10, 2008

hahaha mstila just to put in context kalo x ape lg??? ni kire soalan same mcm aku nye comment ‘out of curiosity’ kat blog ko la, yg ko x approve tu???? hahahaha at least aku approve kan??? 😀

16. jaz - December 11, 2008

yop n mateen ada cakap paaal ilmu ikhlas…hmmm…bile nk turun ilmu..err…mateen dh nk khatam eh ilmu ikhlas tu?..hahaha…

17. Luqman - December 13, 2008

urgh, ungkit siot. ye la ye la. in context la. bkn xnak approve, x sampai hati. haha.

18. youppe - December 13, 2008

jaz: ilmu tahap tinggi tu… kalo nak blaja ade kene pengeras… kkakaka

loq: ok la tu!!! ahaha

19. intan - December 24, 2008

Ain’t nice girls for nice guys, vice versa??

So nice girls always fail to manage their expectations of the guys thus prone to end up with the wrong ones? Oh dear, so crude a statement. I would call those girls the girls with a great level of self-esteem. Coz they’re just expecting the best guys to their judgments. At least they know what they want and deserve. The not-so-nice girls would have done the same job. Being fair, no one under the sun could ever tell who’s right for whom and who’s not for whom. Be the nice ones or the not-so-nice ones. After all, everyone expects someone of the same level or even better, talking finding a soul mate. Umm, finding the ‘right’ one is a different story. Should any of the nice guys out there who thinks that the nice girl of his dream (nice guys got expectations too) is destructing herself instead of managing her expectations (you know what I mean), do not hesitate to educate your girl (then you’d get credits for your esteem too)…

CHEERS TO NICE HUMANS.

20. SyAhiRah^LaLAla - March 11, 2009

oh,,mengharukan. wish i would find one someday *pray hard*


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