of my sodomized nation, SEPI & cinta

well.. some of my regular readers (errr… can i use that term, because i don’t update this blog that regularly.. hehe) asked me when will i write my ten cents’ worth on the ongoing soap opera between Najib Razak and Anwar Ibrahim. my answer to that is… wake me up when everything’s over and the dust have settled and we know who wins in the end. then maybe i’ll write an interesting piece, or maybe not if the winner is Najib, ahaha (why? you kidding me? i wanna get married and die of old age, please!)

but anyway, i think the only one being sodomized in all this mess.. is the rakyat. yeah, that pain in your ass, is because you are currently being sodomized. not all fun, ain’t it? when the first SD from Raja Petra came out, it was shocking. when a 60-year-old grandpa with a back problem was accused of meliwating a tall, supposedly strong 23-years-old young man, it got interesting. but then all that happened afterwards was just plain sad and pathetic, and it really showed the realities of the current sorry state of our sodomized nation. everything is politicized, now even the Syariah Court has been dragged into this. sumpah dengan Quran… you think we’re in high school?? that’d be enough? it never crossed your mind that both parties would just do it without even flinching?? but then when the general perception towards our civil institutions and even the ulama was at all-time low (barring perhaps during the certain points in Mahathir’s 22 years tenure) it’s hard to fathom how the truth could ever come out. and i don’t think that the truth will ever come out from this one. what will come out is just the guy with the bigger hand, with some aces left in his sleeves.  when it is already a general public opinion that we can’t trust our police, our judiciary, our legislative head and even our ulama’, i can’t imagine a worst picture i can paint about the current disastrous state our country is in. and it does get kinda scary sometimes. it’s oblivious who’s sodomizing who, when both of them are actually sodomizing the nation. sodom me lah!!!!

so who’s gonna win?

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my bet’s on Khairy.

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on another totally different note…

i think SEPI was superb. i have a hard time believing a local production house can produce such a movie. it was world class… the script, the acting, the songs, the scenes, etc everything. from basically the same team that made CINTA (Kabir Bhatia is genius!!), this one’s better and deeper. much deeper. words are kept right where it hurts the most, and in Malay (how about that?)… and boy what about the storyboard? and the SEPI puisi, it was excellent.

for those of you who haven’t watch it, please do. because a movie of this quality deserves all the recognition you can give, triple over the recognition you can give to the likes of Cicakman, Nana Tanjung (wtf??), Anak Mami and any other thing he called ‘movie’ that Mohaideen fella throws out.

a sign of better days to come? Malaysian film industry will at last be saved? hmmm…. (i’ll certainly produce a movie one day…)

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*the movie’s attempted potrayal of Kahlil Gibran was beautiful. he’s one of my all-time favourite writer and poet, his words are one of a kind.

“.. it is well to give when asked, but it is better to give unasked, through understanding ..”

“.. out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars ..”

“.. the deeper sorrow carves into your being the more joy you can contain ..”

“.. the optimist sees the rose and not its thorns; the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious of the rose ..”

“.. to understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to do ..”

“.. i have learnt silence from the talkative, toleration from the intolerant, and kindness from the unkind; yet strange, I am ungrateful to these teachers ..”

- Kahlil Gibran, 1883 -1931

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i think…

i’m just as far in as i’ll ever be out.

she feels so close now, yet she’s so far away. oh she’s far away.

i know she’s so far away.

yet, sometimes i feel…

like i smelled her in the winds lately.

her scent, one i cannot forget, was in the air.

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pardon me…

i’m just waiting for my real life to begin.

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of coincidence, reasons & hope

“.. my colleague said something true last semester. he said if you want to get to know someone, you need a buffer. and he meant buffer as in someone who you mutually know .. “

- quoted from http://xxeemm.blogspot.com/

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coincidence?

i’ve wrote something about ‘coincidence’ in my previous blog, but i’ll lay it out here once again just for the sake of it. i don’t believe in coincidence. coincidence doesn’t exist. because everything happens for a reason. it’s the most obvious LAW OF THE UNIVERSE. the day, the night, the four seasons, the sun, to the tiniest bacteria, all serve a purpose in this world. and if you really dig deeper, you’ll find that everything happens for a reason in both ways; either scientifically or in religion. coincidence is just a concept – a man-made concept – by men who can’t handle the truth and chose to be in denial. it is a convenient concept, for you can easily dismiss something that struck you deep in the heart as a “nothing”, but an unintelligent one. a thinking man who embraces God’s way of doing things would be up on his feet trying to figure out what it means. and that’s the trick. everything happens for a reason, but from all of the probable reasons that we could think of, only God knows which one is the right one. and there’s also the reasons which are beyond the capability of our mind, only God knows it.

so… just coincidence?

you think so?

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well, if you ask me… it’s unthinkable. the thing that is currently happening, it could never even crossed my mind. but it’s happening, and it’s happening fast. i could just dismiss it and be in denial, but i am not like that. things like these, weird/peculiar/strange things like these, it’s so close to your heart and struck you deep, and you knew right on that it happened for a reason. but the reason for this, i haven’t got a clue.. yet. a friend said, if God’s the one who will this to happen, then it should be for something positive. maybe it’s time for me and her to patch things up, to forgive and let go of our grudges, to joke about those silly/immature/childish things we did to each other back then when we were still silly/immature/childish, and to amend our friendship. it has been years since she said a word to me, it seems like forever when we last talked as friends. she’s the one friend i don’t want to lose for my life, but i did. she means the world to me back then, and now, you know what has changed about that?

nothing.

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ps.. yes, she is her.

psss.. ‘just-when-i-thought-i-was-out, they-dragged-me-back-in’ moment?

pssss.. remember to stop and think for a while, the next time you want to say “… ah, kebetulan je!!”

psssss.. for the first time in history, Spain is gonna win a major tournament tomorrow. viva espana!!!

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of old man, buses & monorail

Honestly, I didn’t think it would come to this. That he would go this far. And this low.

Tun Mahathir has gone far much lower than he’s ever been his entire life with his blog posting titled RapidKL, and damn it’s so sad. It’s so shameful I couldn’t believe it. The Grand Old Man of Malaysian Politics had become just another blogger in the vast cyberworld, playing the games of ‘common folks’ with mischievous posting, with the sole aim to make the other party look bad. A brat teenager, a 40-something clerk or a housewife (you know what i mean) who have blogging as their pastime would’ve write such a speculative, unprofessional and unintelligent piece of writing, so void of facts and full of loopholes to lead the readers to make their own assumptions. It sounded more like a group of makciks gossiping around the staircase, than a writing of a former Prime Minister worshipped by many. He pretended to present the facts for the knowledge of the rakyat, but there were no facts at all in there, just hearsay and speculation, and more loopholes so that the public can make their own assumptions. Make an official enquiry to RapidKL (or SPNB – Syarikat Prasarana Negara Bhd – who is the owner of the buses, RapidKL is just the operator) about the facts of the matter and present it on your blog. But he knew there would be nothing to write if official statements from SPNB were inquired, because there was nothing wrong. Yesterday Scomi Engineering Bhd president Hilmy Zaini made a press conference and took the media on a tour of the bus manufacturing facility, dishing out official FACTS after FACTS, and that’s how it should be done. In the past few years SPNB had purchased around 1,000 buses through open tenders, and Scomi only managed to win 285. And all SPNB contracts were done through open tenders. You can find that even in the Annual Report for God’s sake!!!

If Mahathir had wanted to write about the issue ‘sincerely’, he would have included the fact that it was him who started Mtrans with cronies Vincent Tan and David Chew (Chew eventually bought over all of Tan’s shares) and gave them the monorail monopoly in KL, and the fact that his son-in-law is the CEO of Mtrans. He would also include the fact that he gave the KL Monorail & Putrajaya Monorail project to Mtrans through direct-negotiation, not open tender. He would also have include the fact that when Mtrans run into financial troubles he bailed them out with government banks, leaving only KL Monorail to complete and the Putrajaya Monorail had to be scrapped. When he stepped down as PM, Chew flew overseas leaving Mtrans into more financial troubles, and Scomi took them over. There were contracts for the supply of buses to SPNB even when Scomi took over Mtrans. So… ahaha, I am speechless. Like I said, if Mahathir really wanted to raise this issue ‘sincerely’ for the rakyat’s knowledge, then he would have included all those facts. But he did not. So his intention, henceforth, is obvious.

Eventhough I am not his No 1 fan (as you could imagine from my previous postings in this blog), I do think highly of him, that he is a giant of a man in stature and intelligence. I can’t imagine him being one of the makciks gossiping about half-truths and hearsays just to pass the time. But now, I seriously have to reconsider that.

Melayu Mudah Lupa? No, we’re not!! (again)

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Ps.. if you think I am writing this because I support Pak Lah, please read my previous postings in this blog to verify that!!!

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click to enlarge

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Below is Shah Hakim Zain (CEO of Scomi Group Bhd) explanation to MCOBA-Malaysia e-group (yes, he is a MCOB) about the issue (reposted with permission);

Saudara saudara,

Since the Government acquired Intrakota and Parkmay, the operations and ownership of the buses/assets are separated. The ownership of the assets rests with SPNB while Rapidkl is responsible for the operations of the assets.

SPNB has since invested in the purchases of new buses. We understand total purchase todate by SPNB is about 1200 units for Klang Valley and 150 units for Penang. The Klang Valley buses are operated by RapidKL and penang buses by RapidPenang.

Scomi supplied the following to SPNB for Rapidkl operation:

- 2005: 160

- 2006: 50

- 2007: 75

Total is 285 units. The other suppliers include SKS, Deftech, Sumai, Euromawar and Masterbuilders.

Scomi supplied 70 of the 150 units to SPNB for penang operations. The other suppliers are SKS and Deftech.

The old buses (not so old, about 10 years) that SPNB inherited upon taking over Parkmay and Intrakota totaled to about 1000 units (one thousand). These buses were not in operating condition and have been lying idle in two yards at Sungai Buaya and Antara Gapi, Selangor.

Scomi is now refurbishing 150 units of these buses at a price lower than brand new purchases. This is the first time any supplier doing this and Scomi has successfully completed 50 units thus far.

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taken from stephendoss.blogspot.com

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

RapidKL !!!

It is interesting to note that Dr Mahathir is once again throwing stones from his glass house. In this particular issue I have a few points to make;

1. RapidKL is the operator of buses owned by Syarikat Prasarana Nasional Berhad (SPNB).
2. Most contracts given by them is awarded by open tender.
3. In the case of supply of buses for RapidKL and Rapid Penang buses are purchased through open tender.
4. In 1995, RapidKL put out a tender for 1200 buses (please check who was PM then).
5. Out of the 1200, Mtrans was awarded 160 buses, at that time Mahathir’s son-in-law was a major shareholder of Mtrans, and Scomi was not yet in the picture. This was in 2005.
6. Scomi only bought into Mtrans in 2006 when Mtrans got into financial trouble, after this Mtrans supplied 120 busses.
7. In Penang, Rapid Penang put out a tender for 150 buses, Scomi was only one of five companies awarded a contract to supply 70 buses. (Pls find out who the rest are).
8. Why does Mahathir not also reveal the role his son-in-law played in Mtrans as a major shareholder of the company.
9. Why did Mahathir give them the monopoly of monorails in Kuala Lumpur and Putrajaya when his son-in-law was a major shareholder of the company and when Mahathir was PM.
10. Why did he as PM authorize a bail out to a company where his son in law was a major shareholder and where he knew they could not successfully carry out the monorail project.

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1. Ahh…. isu RapidKL… amat menarik, tapi malangnya Tun M hanya meng-ekspose perihal yang dia nampak “cantik” untuk menghantam pemerintahan Pak Lah. Saya cuma sekadar pemerhati, ada dengar juga hal ini, jadi saya rasa geli hati juga kerana Tun M menyembunyikan fakta2 lain…Salah satunya adalah perihal menantu Tun M sendiri adalah CEO MTrans semasa beliau sdri PM dulu, dan ketika inilah Tun M telah memberikan monorel KL dan Putrajaya projek secara direct negotiation. Saya baca juga Scomi bukanlah 100% memiliki tender tersebut. Walhal tender2 RapidKL dan RapidPenang adalah terbuka dan Scomi mempunyai bahagian terkecil, di samping ada 4 syarikat lain yang memegang tender itu.Jadi janganlah kita mudah terpedaya dengan kata2 Tun M. Kita sebagai pembaca juga perlu peka dan buat research juga bukan sekadar mempercayai apa saja yang mereka katakan.Wsalam.

   Comment by pipitart | June 11, 2008 <!– @ 3:45 am –>

2. kenapa TDM asyik membuat tuduhan seperti ini. beliau begitu berusaha untuk menjatuhkan kepimpinan sekarang. saya ada terbaca mengenai hal ini dizaman pemerintahan beliau sendiri ada terjadi hal seperti ini berkaitan dengan projek monorail dimana pada masa itu CEO MTrans adalah menantunya. Comment by izzatdin | June 11, 2008

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it’s gonna get harder still, before it gets easy

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MCOBA Futsal is on this weekend. our team has even bought our own jerseys (thanks to the kepoyoan of Petet). hopefully we’re not gonna be ‘team lauk’.

on another note, i am moving to a new house this weekend, the place is Changkat View Condominium at Mont Kiara. the place is damn nice, as it is brand new and we’re the first tenants moving in. so everything is still ‘virgin’, including the facilities like swimming pool and the equipments in the gym, which i think certainly gives more value for money. when everything’s all nice and well, maybe we’ll throw in a house-warming for you guys aite? i’ll probably post in a couple of pictures as well in here. oh anyway, by ‘we’, i mean me, Shoul, Sab and Pijan.

have a nice weekend.

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jenaka melangkaui zaman

this is so hilarious, i can’t stop laughing. sebuah jenaka melangkaui zaman.

most of us grew up watching P. Ramlee movies, and his songs are still a bunch of the best written Malay songs ever (moreover if you compare it with the quality of the Malay songs nowadays – ooops!). and the genius that he is, only now we realize this cynical stunt in one of his most famous movies, Pendekar Bujang Lapok. we’ve watched this scene over and over again and never get tired of it, but somehow we missed that little pronunciations that would certainly make it even more hilarious.

don’t know what i’m talking about? this has been making rounds in the cyberspace for the past couple of days, and shouldn’t be missed by those of you especially P Ramlee fans!!

check out the YouTube video here. and the original posting by Op-Ed here.

indeed, ‘jenaka melangkaui zaman’.

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alif mim nun wau.. alif tendang wau……. sarkis?????

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pss.. that haunted song Dimana Kan Ku Cari Ganti still gets me every time…

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.. i just wanna sing a song with you ..

(this is quite belated, it’s supposed to be posted on 9th May. but i’ve been quite swamped lately. heh.)

so here goes, rather belatedly.

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.. you have always been ..

.. a light in the dark ..

.. and you will always be ..

.. that same way to me ..

.. a light in the dark ..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

may the angels surround you with the happiness you deserve

always.

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(a great song, taken off Scrubs Season 4 Soundtrack. one of my personal favourite. click play to enjoy)

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indeed, lets send them to hell

“… cowards can never be moral… “

- mahatma gandhi

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i have always been allergic to cowards. them and hypocrites, they go hand-in-hand. abuses of power and injustices, they make my blood boil. more so when it was done by people who projected and stressed to maintain a good image of themselves in the public eye. make you wish you had some sort of superpower to put these scumbags and slimeballs back to where they belong.

folk hero and already legendary Raja Petra Kamaruddin was detained under the Seditions Act 1948 for allegedly implicating Deputy Prime Minister Najib Razak and wife with the murder of Mongolian Altantuya Shaariibu in his blog, a move he saw coming from a long way since the elections result was announced. but few would have anticipated the ensuing course of action taken by RPK, that probably has gotten the authorities behind his arrest into deep reconsideration whether the move was a good idea or not. instead of quietly posting bail and waits for his trial in October, RPK stunningly refused bail in such cavalier fashion it screamed “Let’s Send The Altantuya Murderers to Hell” (the title of the post that got him in this situation) all over Malaysia and all over the world. yep, few would have missed the intention of RPK when he decided to get thrown into jail until his trial in October. and he would be smiling from his jail cell if he knew that even Reuters is breaking stories about the Altantuya trial now. “Prominent Blogger Goes to Jail for Altantuya” screamed a headline from a foreign newspaper, “Malaysian Blogger Jailed Over Article Allegedly Implicating Deputy PM In Killing” read another. Malaysian Insider got a nifty “RPK the Martyr Keeps Spotlight on Altantuya Case”, hitting it straight on the dot. the publicity gained by his news site Malaysia Today has also been phenomenal, with hits and comments doubled/tripled ever since his arrest. so you decide…. throwing the venerable RPK into jail, a good idea or not?

much has been said about Malaysian judiciary and how the current administration is going to bring reform into it, and now it has been put under direct spotlight. it was whispered that the Altantuya trial has been systematically delayed and “slowed down” until it’s far off the public radar, lessening the impact of the eventual “Not Guilty” verdict. but all of that has changed thanks to one man, and now there has never been greater spotlight on the trial and the personnel allegedly involved in it. RPK’s initial article made a huge scream, but his martyr-like actions after that has got it even louder. indeed, RPK goes to jail for Altantuya, but not only.

he goes to jail for Malaysia.

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p.s… RPK smiled to reporters and said, “Do you think i don’t have evidence?” before being hauled off by the police to the Sungai Buloh prison. with the no-holds-barred-up-to-the-point-of-kurang-ajar Karpal Singh as his lead counsel (which also includes other MPs Gobind Singh, Lim Lip Eng and William Leong), it is guaranteed that all hell would break loose during the trial. owh, i can’t wait for that.

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“.. cowards die many times before their death.. “

- William Shakespeare

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at odds with everything

i’m in the mood of sharing something today.

i was flipping through the TIME 100, the latest list by the renown magazine of 100 most influential people in the world. the usual suspects are all there – the Rupert Murdochs, Jeffrey Immelts, Ratan Tatas and Saudi princes of this world. among all the who’s who in their respective fields, a peculiar name stands out for me, eventhough i haven’t heard of him until today. the name’s Oscar Pistorius, cited here by the one man who could possibly understand the things he had gone through.

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OSCAR PISTORIUS

By Erik Weihenmayer

When I was learning how to climb mountains as a blind person, I had a lot of encouragement from experts. But after I summited Mount Everest, these people weren’t ready to accept what I had done at face value. Some said I must have cheated; one even claimed I had an unfair advantage: “I’d climb Mount Everest too if I couldn’t see how far I had to fall.”

Similarly, when Oscar Pistorius’ lower legs were amputated at age 1, few would have banked on this South African challenging world-class sprinters. At 20, when he began to close in on an Olympic-qualifying time for the 400 m, experts posited that his times were so good, he must have been getting an un-fair advantage from his bladelike prosthetics. When he set his sights on the Olympic Games in Beijing, the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) ruled he couldn’t compete against able-bodied athletes. An IAAF-initiated study found that more energy is returned to Pistorius’ upper legs from his blades than from ankles and calf muscles and that he uses less oxygen.

Pistorius, 21, is appealing, on the basis of studies with differing results. It was only recently that living with prosthetic legs was seen as a huge impediment, but he has turned this perception upside down. He’s on the cusp of a paradigm shift in which disability becomes ability, disadvantage becomes advantage. Yet we mustn’t lose sight of what makes an athlete great. It’s too easy to credit Pistorius’ success to technology. Through birth or circumstance, some are given certain gifts, but it’s what one does with those gifts, the hours devoted to training, the desire to be the best, that is at the true heart of a champion.

Weihenmayer is the only blind person to conquer Mount Everest

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defying the odds in spectacular fashion, Oscar Pistorius is the definitive testament to the power of human will and determination. indeed, it’s really up to us to decide whether that something which were thrust upon us is a burden or privilege, curse or gift.

heart, mind and soul… as they say.

but sometimes though, even everything is never enough.

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*owh, we’re honoured as a Malaysian made it into the prestigious TIME 100, and he is Anwar Ibrahim.

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living in everyday combat

lately i’ve been busy running around, up and down KL. helping some friends, most i knew way back from those heady days of Reformasi 1998 (and most of them are Malay College Old Boys). these are hectic days in Malaysian political scene, if you’re into it. negotiations and deals are concluded as we speak. people with vested interests are scrambling to negotiate allegiances and show their renewed loyalties. politics.. it’s as dirty as it gets, ain’t it? well, i for one, am not political. yes, despite the gasps that i get from friends who read my tantrum in this blog, i am not a political person. i am just a concerned Malaysian, i stand for justice and progress. and i’m just helping some friends. it’s easy to just look and stare when you’re little and in school, but at this able age, i felt obliged to lend a helping hand, or at least give some ideas in the think-tanks. i do love my country, you know. and i am not a fan of Anwar Ibrahim the man, i am a fan of his vision, his ideologies. one of these ‘ideologies’ that really struck a chord with me, is the need to restructure the NEP to help solve the deep-rooted problems of Malay complacency and overall uncompetitiveness (i need a whole new post to explain my stance on this), hence the New Malaysian Economic Agenda. and i am now beyond racial politics.

anyways, i actually write in today to drop my 2 cents (which i already said in some of those ’sessions’) on the current ‘hot topic’ debated among the ‘inner circles’ up to Pakatan Rakyat’s upper echelons as well… do we take over the government NOW or wait until the next election? it’s common knowledge now that Anwar already has the majority (through defections) necessary to take over the premiership from Pak Lah and BN. (and you’ll be surprised to know the names of some defectors already pledging their alliances to him!!). he’s just waiting for a bigger majority (probably 2/3, if achievable) to make his move.

I disagree with the opinion that Pakatan Rakyat should wait and does not rush to form the new government. in my opinion, Pakatan Rakyat should force this issue to Malaysia, for the good of people who didn’t know better, rather than wait another 5 years, in which anything could happen.

the way i see it, this is one of those issues that you need to take control and ‘force’ it to the parties concerned. it’s like when parents forced their children to do something that the children still did not understand, but is actually beneficial to them in the long run, as the parents would know better. although Malaysians generally should take pride about the level of maturity they’ve shown during the recent GE, i really have doubts if the vote swing, especially among the rural voters, could be maintained until the next election, which is 4-5 years away. a lot of things could happen in 4 years, the BN propaganda machine spearheaded by the MSM (mainstream media) would kill PR (Pakatan Rakyat) in these 4 years, and the cash squeeze of the PR-controlled states would be in full throttle. this would certainly give most impact to rural voters, and come next election could you be just as sure that the vote swing could be maintained?

BN is old news, and needs to be changed for the good of the country. it is the only way forward for Malaysia, especially for Malays (why? refer my slight remark on NEP above). but a large section of the country, especially the rural voters, might not see it. when these people are cash-squeezed to the tight end, with the full-blown propaganda in MSM – which most of them relied upon – in 4 years, would they know better come next election? for me, PR needs to act now when they have the opportunity, and force this issue to the people. though they might be some noises, eventually the people will realize that it was done for the good of the country, for the sake of those who didn’t know better.

and another thing. it was claimed (with substantial evidence) that PR actually won the GE, when taking into consideration the gerrymandering, postal & phantom votes, etc. so by right, we should already have a new government. protest votes or not, it’s the result that counts, and the result says that we should have a new government. so why wait? why we have to take a step back? to let the BN machine destroy the rakyat in 4 years so that the votes swing for them come next election? why let all those rural people suffer for 4 years? take control now, and then begin the witch-hunting, if you feel the need to justify your action.

for me, Malaysians are still the ‘children’. Pakatan Rakyat, as the ‘parents’ must force the people to do this now, for their own good. if PR claims to be putting the rakyat’s interest above all else, then this is the right thing to do. as in 4 years time, they might not have the same opportunity, and who will be the loser in the end? the rakyat, and Malaysia. don’t you just dread that thought? we used to be on par with the likes of Korea and Hong Kong, but now even Vietnam has caught up on us. and the Malays will forever lose their competitiveness under the NEP patronage and will always be lagging behind internationally. (which is not the case with the Chinese. the NEP has actually helped them progress to be competitive, to earn whatever they get and be dedicated at what they do, as they don’t have any economic patronage. which is why you rarely see a lazy, complacent Chinese doling it out in universities or at workplace. and you say the NEP has helped the Malays???)

whether defections are ethical or not, it is just politics power play, and who says it’s not dirty. the end justifies the means, more so when it’s for the good of the country.

yep, THE END JUSTIFIES THE MEANS.

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it had to be you

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i thought of all the things i’d like to say

cramped up and couldn’t write a word all day

so sick of all the things i’m trying to say

cramped up and couldn’t write a word all day

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do you feel a certain sense of synergy between yourself and me?
a kind of macabre and somber Wondertwin-type of harmony?

what if it was you?
you that I needed all along
i felt like a fool
kicking and screaming and pretending we were wrong

do you spend a fortune on those late night prepaid television scams
in search of the perfect blender, steak knife and non-stick frying pan?

what if it was you?
you that I needed all along
i felt like a fool
thinking we were completely wrong

it seemed like a dream
a beautiful scream
that echoed forever
and made us not afraid to feel a thing
and after it ends
we’ll try to be friends
they say that what doesn’t kill us makes us who we are

ALL THIS TIME AND EVERYTHING’S CHANGED BUT I STILL FEEL THE SAME
ALL GOOD THINGS EVENTUALLY END AND GET WASHED DOWN THE DRAIN
WHAT A DISASTER IT WOULD BE IF YOU DISCOVERED THAT I CARED
A LITTLE TOO MUCH FOR FRIENDS BUT NOT ENOUGH TO SHARE

what if it was you?
you that I needed all along
i felt like a fool
now that I’m sure that I was wrong
it had to be you.
it had to be you.
it had to be you.
i knew it was you.

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so much to say

but no words to convey

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i so want to get back on track

and i’ll do whatever it takes

even if it kills me.

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